Appreciate the fine bonds of love and joy
subtle, yet clear
fragile, yet strong
shifting, yet Eternal
in the Better World
At last I know.
I have been in doubt my whole life. I have asked myself existentialistic questions ever since I was 5 (I actually remember such quite clearly). I have put my entire family in the grave. I have turned my back to the education and the science (chemistry) that I once loved so dearly. I have had many love affairs only to see them disappear again. In short, I have in a sense lost everything a man can lose in life.
At last I know why.
I cannot reveil this as yet, but it will become the essense of what is to become my lifetime manifesto. It will blow you away. It will transform you. It will make you connect to your higher reality. It will make you say “I knew this guy” and people will say “really ?”.
To feel that every single second of your life is accounted for is an extremely overwhelming thing and to think that all the studies in life, in relations, in the music and arts, in the psychology and the literature suddenly add up and make sense… is just incredible.
I just know. At last. Time to write.
How cool is this: to appear in the latest book by Malcolm Anderson, The Messengers.
The Messengers are about 120 marathon- and ultrarunners distributed worldwide, passionate individuals that tell their stories about their love and dedication to running. Amongst the interviewees are several of the most renown ultrarunners in the world and I’m pleased to know several of the persons mentioned including my danish friend Mogens Pedersen, the swede K.-G. Nyström and a whole bunch of germans listing also Christian Hottas and Horst Preisler, the latter being the man on Earth with most races, +1700 ! The book is easily read and features four main sections on Passion, Endurance, Transformation and Inspiration and give insights on why and how people can run hundreds if not thousands of (ultra-) marathons. I am truly honored with my contribution and artfully pleased that the picture of me in the book is pretty sexy as well. Get moving to the bookstore, girls 😉
Another cool thing is the enjoyment of giving speaches on my own book “ELSK AT LØBE – med Maratonbogen”, co-authored with the famous professor Bente Klarlund Pedersen. We have given a whole bunch of lectures by now and have a few more scheduled in February in Copenhagen. I have updated my “in the press” section to reflect the newspaper attention on some of these events. The thrill is to inspire !
Last Monday we gave two talks for about 900 young students (imagine that !) and here I chipped in a few slides on my private story as well, pinpointing some of the learning points on how you survive a rough childhood orphaned at age 7 and growing up on a boarding school. I tell you, I had the full concentration of these kids. I really felt that my talk made an impact. If so, I can wish for no more… as this kind of Message mean the world to me: “How do one survive ? Three words coin it all: intelligence, passion and activity” (I will elaborate on this another time). It was a priviledge to “perform” for these youngsters. Just as it is knowing that YOU are reading these words.
Remember, we all have immense power in the choosing of our thoughts, feelings and words ! Every second of our lives.
Losing family obliges us to find our family.
Not always the family that is our blood but the family that can become our blood.
These words are from the movie “Finding Forrester”, a poetic and beautiful movie that coins what Friendship and Faith is all about. The Title of this post is also from the movie, a Title that describes my current state of mind and being so extremely well. I feel so full of hope for this year and in so many respects. Let me elaborate a bit.
Firstly, things look really cool at work. I seldom write about my work and I will not begin to, so I will just pass on that I basically and generally really really do enjoy my job (nerdy IT stuff) and that I thrive with my colleagues. I spend quite a bit of my capacity each day on work-tasks so it is by no means trivial that these things are interesting and challenging. They are ! And this Season look better than ever ! Woo-hoo !
More importantly, things look really NEW on my personal level both within the Running business and in the Spiritual Department. Runningwise, I have set myself the goal to cut off 22 minutes of my current marathon PB/PR on 4.06.45. The means to accomplish this goal involve a weight loss of 12 kg and a totally rewritten approach to my training. It feels good, it feels fun, it feels right ! Thus, I have great Faith in the marathon experiences lined up for 2011.
Spiritually, I feel that I am “connecting” with my lost Family. I feel that I am connecting with my (mostly running) friends and that it is time to give a little more than just the “funny Tor”. Perhaps it is time to show them the Faith to deal with the real Tor, or rather the more complete, the Tor of great intelligence and psychic intuition. Perhaps it it the time to show this to you all. To constructively use and display the real Powers hidden so well for so long.
So why just now ? Well… it is the Season of Faith’s Perfection ! It is the Season to find and connect to the Spiritual Guides. It is the Season to interpret and combine the many Human Guides from the Great History, the Writers, the Composers, the Painters, the knowledge of History itself and the outlook on the probable Futures just ahead. It is the Season to display a rooted and universal flux of Love. It is the Season for waking up each day and just deeply appreciating Life. It is the Season of Faith’s Perception as well. I feel very lucky to feel all these things, I feel very lucky to deeply understand in the Spiritual sense.
It is as if all the pieces from all these years suddenly fit each other – and I am fortunate to see the picture, the Light.
Things Change ! Let go – and you will see !
As you might know Death has played a major role in my life. I have lived through things you wouldn’t believe. I have possessed hinsights from the age of 7 that many people never realize during a lifetime. Still, I only show my true mental strength in glimpses and feel that I cannot reveil my full potential or knowledge to anyone. Basically, I have a complexity that I know that most poeple cannot grasp or handle. I read most people in seconds. I look through it all, through you all. It is a burden at times, most times, because I have to pretend that I don’t. But I do. I truly hate it !
Death has also taken pray in recent times. Thus, I, we, have lost three running mates during the last 16 months. These losses are naturally different from the family ones, however, they still trigger some of the same feelings and thoughts… and to elaborate on the perhaps cryptic intro: for me, the loss of my three friends makes me think a lot about the deep existentialistic questions that I think we all face. Why are we here ? What shall we do with our lives ? What is of importance ? What happens “afterwards” ?
On the latter let me tell you this: nothing ! And if you knew how fast the World will forget you as dead, I think you would reschedule your life as living quite a lot ! At best, you will be remembered by the ones that knew you in person… but how long will they live after you ? 30 years ? 40 years ? If you have produced “stuff” as a scientist, artist or successful entrepreneur your name and fame might hang around a bit more… but make no mistake, your materialistic or abstract outlets in the Universe has nothing to to with “life”. YOU will be dead ! And your Vanity dies with you.
So what is important ? Friendship is important ! Sharing moments together eg. when running marathons is important. Reaching tough deadlines with your collegues is important. Rasing your kids well is important. Searching for good values and habits is important. Being true to yourself and your own nature is important. There are indeed heaps of reasons for being curious about life, about love, about running experiences, about new things to happen. Don’t let anyone tell you the opposite, ever !
I had the priviledge to enjoy the friendships of René Fasting (died two days after his first marathon triplet),
Philip Ulrich (killed by a odd-falling rock in Nepal),
and John West (killed on Mont Blanc).
They were very accomodating and warm men, and I had some very profound talks and writings with all three of them. Now, it is time to follow up. It is time to say: “you are still here”. In my mind and heart at the least.
Furthermore, it is time to make a spiritual promise: “I will fullfil my true potential !“. Because I still live and have the possibility. We all have. Remember and understand: Every day is a luxury and the potential beginning of a new adventure, of new friendships, of fun and experiences. Today is the beginning of the rest of your life and if you put your mind and heart to it, you may truly change your Reality forever. NOW is the time to act. NOW is the center of power. We who live should take on our responsibility.
So, René, Philip and John, I have decided to transform and to unleash my full capacity. You will find me doing new stuff from now on… and you will find me continuing the things I deeply love, including running marathons and meeting up with our many common, wonderful and a bit crazy friends. I will check out the hot girls for you, tell the dirty jokes and shoot the stories and pictures from the races. Who knows if you are following or if we meet again…
… but until, I will take care of things down here… until it, hopefully in many years from now, become my turn to face the silent, eternal sleep.
Thank you so much for the inspiration !