The Eternal Silent Scream

79 AD … the destruction of Pompeii… one of the most famous catastrophes in the world history. The remains of the victims still stun and horrify us even today. Even today !

I was in Pompeii at age five… two years after my Mother died. I remember reflecting that this ghost town was once a place for the living. I remember thinking… “when will it be our turn ?” … being together with my grandparents making it a quite natural line of thinking… I was thinking. “They are next”.

I was wrong. My father was next, two years after, just a month after I had turned seven. THEN later came my grandfather, and later again my adoption mother, then my grandmothers alongside with all other leading figures from my Childhood. They are all dead.

So… one day we will all scream into eternity. One day we will wake up with closed eyes and who knows what we will see ? Who knows, really ?

The point to all this is: what kind of LIFE do we live ? What kind of experiences do we go for ? What do we valúe, who do we love, what do we dare and dare risk ? Which decisions do we make ? This is the important stuff, the lines in small that most don’t read but are fed and never really contemplate, failing to realize that we are the mere products of time and our time and context, outfallen events in webs of probabilities. We think that we control ‘stuff’ … and we might do for restricted periods of time… but really… naah. We are quite insignificant.

However, we living humans possess a unique power each day of our lives: we create our own personal reality. We create things in our minds.. and THEN experience them in the external world. If we do not like our experiences, we can change our minds and beliefs… and thus change our world, our experiences, our feelings. I know this for a fact, having changed the foundations for my life over an over again since early Childhood in dramatic manners that you would not have the first clue to grasp neither the magnitude or consequences about. Thus, I have questioned and examined the point in living almost daily since age five… and I have always found the above answer… alongside with passion, curiosity and a general love of just being alive. When we really choose we can live, unlike being the living undead. Observe, analyze, decide, live and… love ! The game begins each morning.

Try to understand this… before it is your turn to scream. You will, one day.